Birthdays
by PCZDJ
Summary: This is a birthday fic that I'm only updating on my birthday. They are all going to be one-shots. The first one is about why Draco hates birthdays.
**Author's note: Hey everybody. This is a fanfic that I will only update on my birthday. It's probably going to be a lot of one-shots. Also there will be something at the end you might want to see.**

Chapter 1: I hate birthdays

Hi. I'm Draco Malfoy and I hate birthdays. Do you want to know why? Well on my birthday something bad happens every single time. For example on my 5th birthday, a cake blew up in my face. This is going to be my autobiography dedicated to all of my birthdays up until now.

0th birthday AKA the day that I was born AKA national Draco day㈳5: On the day I was born, my parents were in muggle London. They were killing useless mudbloods. Anyways, while killing them Mother's water broke and I had to be delivered by a mudblood. I can't believe Father would let that happen, but he said it was to dangerous to apparate to St. Mungo's. Pretty bad way to start you're life.

1st birthday: I will get straight to the point with this one. I got my first glance at the Dark Lord. He was the ugliest creature I've ever seen and I totally freaked out. I mean he doesn't have a nose. Although, being a Malfoy, even though I was only 1, I kept cool and collected. But that wasn't even the worst birthday I've had.

2nd birthday: My life has been going smoothly since I saw the Dark Lord. This birthday changed it all. I met Pancy, she's a girl with lots of excitement but really clingy. The whole time she was gushing about how I'm like the best person in the world. Sure, I love it when people complement me it's just not cool when you do that for hours and hours. I bet you're thinking it can't be that bad. Well it is. Meeting her was the worst. At least my parents aren't thinking of marrying me off to her. Or are they. Ahhhhhhhhhh! That was me screaming in fright. I ABSOLUTELY HATE HER!

3rd birthday: I feel like this is the best birthday out of all of them, but it was still horrible. Basically Mother made me sing in front of everyone. Even my friends. It's a good thing my only friends at that time were Vincent and Greg. They're stupid.

4th birthday: We went to the beach. Now you may think that its good. But something bad always happens. I was swimming in the ocean when all of a sudden a shark came towards me. Itcamethisclose. I totally freaked out. I kept calm on the outside though because I'm a Malfoy. Yeah always keep a straight face Malfoy style.

5th birthday: As I told you in the introduction, a cake blew up in my face. It was so embarrassing and all of my friends laughed at me. Me, a Malfoy. It's pretty much a crime to laughed at a Malfoy. That's not even the worst. Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it...

Pansy came to the Malfoy Manor and played with all of my gifts AKA toys. And she broke all of them. Ughhhhhhh!

6th birthday: I was having fun with my friends when Father stormed into the house. He looked angry. My friends and I stopped and stared at him. Then he hauled my into the library and started beating me. It was the very first time that happened and until this day I still don't know why he had beat me. That was probably the scariest thing in the world.

7th birthday: Mother, Father, and I were in Diagon Alley when death eaters came up to us. Father tried to step in front of me, but they pulled out their wands and said,"We just want the boy. You get to go if you give him to us. We're taking him to the Dark Lord." So Father gave me to him and they took me to He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named. That wasn't actually scary. He just talked to me about being a death eater and stuff.

8th birthday: My owl died that morning. I woke up and found him laying in his cage. Not moving at all. So Mother decided to get me a new one. Since I'm too young for side along apparation. We had to walk. I almost got ran over by a car on the way there. Such a bad driver.

9th birthday: I woke up and went downstairs, expecting a big birthday feast. Instead I found Mother and Father sitting at the table as if it's a normal day. As soon as I got there, Father said that he has to go to work and Mother had to go shopping. I can't believe they forgot my birthday. Then I owled my friends and they said that they forgot. My birthday is like the biggest thing of the year. How could they forget. I was upset all day. So when Father came back from work I told him that it was my birthday and he got me the newest broom and lots of candy.

10th birthday: I was happily riding the best broom in the world when a stupid bird came and knocked me down. I got injured badly and had to go to St. Mungo's. I would have Father sue that bird ,but it's a bird so he can't. From that moment I hated birds.

11th birthday: It was a regular school day and I'm planning to throw a party after classes. We took a test yesterday in potions and I just know that I got the best grade in the class. You know when you get the feeling that everything is going in your direction. So Pancy, Vincent, Greg, and I were waking to class and I was bragging about how I will get the best grade when I realized we had double potions with Gryffindor. That means Granger is in that class. I'm now doubting that I will get the best grade, but Malfoys always need to be the best. Father will kill me if he hears that mudblood has beaten me, again. Professor Snape walks into the room and called,out the person who has the highest grade in the class. 11 guesses who. Of course, it's GRANGER. She beat me for like the 20th time. No she cannot beat me one more time. I will get my revenge.

12th birthday: The day was fun. I went to a wizarding amusement park. After that we went to a restaurant that was supposed to have really delicious and awesome food. I got a fizzy drink called soda. I can't believe Mother's friends would recommend this. I mean they serve muggle food! Mother made me try one of the muggle dishes. It was disgusting! Ewwwww. Mudblood food.

13th birthday: I was sitting on the couch doing my homework when I felt really tired. I fell asleep and the next thing I know I was on the floor. My head was bleeding with glass in it. I rushed to the infirmary immediately. They had to get all the glass out of my head. It was so PAINFUL! (A/N: I got this from one of the experiences of my friend.)

14th birthday: For about half of the school year, I have been going out with this girl named Bex. There are 365 days in an year unless it leap year which it is then it has 366 days. But out of that 366 days she decided to dump me that day. On my birthday. Really?!

15th birthday: I was really excited to go kill mudbloods. Father and You Know Who decided to let me go with them to muggle London for my birthday to watch them, so one day I can do the same thing. But then when I saw the dead body all the pleasure is taken away. What should have been a great birthday gift turned into a really bad day. A good thing that came out of it was I decided I didn't really want to be a death eater. Not that I have a choice.

16th birthday: I threw a party and we started playing truth or dare. When it's Blaise's turn he asked me truth or dare. I said dare, so he dared me to dress up as a girl and keep the costume on until after dinner. It was so mortifying. Everybody laughed and I basically disgraced the Malfoy name. Father was so angry that he sent a howler to me. That was also humiliating. Why do bad things always happen on my birthday?!

17th birthday: This is the day we graduate Hogwarts. I made sure a get a good grade in every single subject. Even useless ones. There is no way anybody else can get a higher grade than me. What came as a surprise is I never got the valedictorian letter. I went to Dumbledore's office and asked him about it. He said I wasn't made valedictorian instead Granger was. DEFEATED AGAIN!

I'm turning 18 tomorrow just so you know. Bring me a gift or something. Yeah. And that's all of the past birthdays. I hate birthdays and you should too. Tell me about your worst birthdays. Or not.

Best person in the world,

DRACO MALFOY ;)

 **Author's note:**

 **I really hope you enjoyed that. Please comment what your worst or favorite birthday was. Thank you for wasting time on reading my fanfiction. Bye until next year!**

 **CHALLENGE!**

 **The first person to guess what age I'm turning gets a fanfic dedicated to them. Leave this in the comments.**

• **the age I'm turning**

• **if you want me to email you because I can't PM you or you're a guest leave an email**

• **and a name.**

 **I will let you choose what the fanfic is about and the book it comes from. I will let you know if I read the book or not.**


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